⚠️ Toxic Body Positivity & Its Negative Impact on Fat People ⚠️
I’m going to be real 🤝 with you my hottie oddy body, living as a fat person in a society that glorifies thinness is not easy peasy lemon squeezy. Constantly being bombarded with messages that tell us we are unworthy of love, attention, and respect because of our body size? Um, no. Not here for it any more. ⛔
To add to that shit list, these ‘experts’ in the wellness industry keep spreading the toxic positivity rhetoric that promotes happiness and positivity over everything else (or else!) - even when it's far from realistic or actual health.
If you didn’t know, the term ‘toxic positivity’, let me break it down for you babes. As the name suggests, toxic body positivity is the belief that you must always maintain a positive mindset, regardless of your situation. It's about ignoring and suppressing any negative emotions or experiences in the name of positivity. Then add in the cross section of your physical body. So one must essentially love the way their body looks, even if they do not actually feel that way about their body, because god forbid if you didn’t actually love your cellulite, you’re a terrible and negative person, right? RIGHT!? 🤔
Whilst being positivity is inherently seen as ‘good’ and ‘optimistic’, it can be detrimental to our mental and physical health.
For fat people, toxic positivity can manifest in multiple ways - ranging from denying the impact of weight shame and discrimination, to ignoring our bodies' needs and knowing our boundaries and limitations.
One of the biggest issues I have with toxic body positivity is that it invalidates our experiences as mid-size, large, fat, plus size people. When we express our frustrations, fears, or challenges related to our body size, the clap back we're often met with goes a little something like ‘just love yourself more, babe’ or ‘you need to have a positive outlook to attract good things in your life’ 🤮 While these responses seem well-intentioned, they're actually dismissive of our struggles. It’s like when you’re having the shittest day and someone yells from their car ‘SMILE, IT’S NOT THAT BAD HONEY’. Well, Shaun, maybe it is that bad ya’ friggin jerk! 🖕 Moreover, they put the responsibility of changing a system that oppresses us solely on us, rather than on the society that needs to change.
Think about it, your fat bestie tells you they have (neutrally) put on some more weight & your thin bestie turns to her says ‘oh honey, you HAVE NOT! But maybe you should join my gym, they have a GREAT pilates class & the trainer there go me on this new juice cleanse you should try it, I lost like 5 kilos in a week!😵💫
Not only has your thin bestie invalidated the comments of your fat besties OWN BODY, she’s also completely bypassed the acknowledgment of the fact this societal structure not only bases her worth on how thin she is, rather than WHO she is, but also contributes to these systems in various ways.
Another thing is that toxic positivity can harm our physical health. As a person living in a larger body, I face limitations with my body that thin people don't have to deal with (let alone think about). Ignoring these limitations can lead to injury, illness, or burnout. For example, pushing ourselves to exercise in ways that are not comfortable or accessible can lead to injuries that can take a long time to heal. If this is my way of letting any future potential personal trainers out there know that burpees suck ass, ruin my knees, and I refuse to do them, then I’ll take it! Similarly, denying ourselves food that our body craves or needs can lead to disordered eating patterns and nutrient deficiencies.
However, it's not just our boundaries and needs that get violated when we're subjected to toxic body positivity. Our emotions and mental health also take a hit. By denying ourselves the right to acknowledge and express negative emotions, we bottle them up, causing internal stress that can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Furthermore, when we're told to suppress our emotions and put on a happy face, it adds an additional layer of emotional labour to the already heavy burden we carry as fat people in a fatphobic culture. This is why EFT is so helpful in the body acceptance space, because we can use tapping to work our way through these emotions (even our own internalised fatphobia, but more on that later), rather than keeping them inside waiting for it to come out in limiting beliefs or behaviours.
Toxic body positivity is not just a well-intentioned but misguided concept; it's a harmful ideology that can cause real damage to our mind and body. As fat people, we deserve the right to acknowledge and express our emotions, set realistic boundaries for ourselves, and take care of our physical needs. Instead of pushing #bopo vibes at all costs, we need to embrace the full range of human emotions and experiences, including the negative ones about our bodies. By doing this we can work towards actual acceptance and true liberation from the weight stigma and discrimination that affect your fat besties.
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